BREAKING: Trump Launches ‘TruthBucks’ Currency — Accepted at Waffle House and Trump Golf Resorts
Mar-a-Lago, FL — Sept 28, 2025
In a move that economists are calling “deeply unserious” and supporters are calling “the second coming of the gold standard,” former President Donald J. Trump has officially unveiled “TruthBucks” — a new currency he claims will replace the “woke and worthless” U.S. dollar by 2028.
Speaking at a televised rally held beneath a 40-foot inflatable version of himself riding an eagle, Trump declared:
“The dollar is old. Bitcoin is boring. TruthBucks are backed by the strongest force in America — me.”
Trump held up a shimmering $47 TruthBuck bill, adorned with his signature, a holographic comb-over, and the phrase “In Trump We Trust (More Than the Dollar)”.
Backed by Trump, Minted at Mar-a-Lago
According to Trump’s press team, TruthBucks are “backed by real gold, mined daily beneath Mar-a-Lago by Eric and Don Jr.” Treasury Secretary (and former steakhouse manager) Gary P. Liversmith said each bill is “blessed with raw patriotism” and “smells faintly of spray tan.”
Denominations Include:
- $47 Bill – Commemorates Trump’s return as the 47th president (pending)
- $69 Bill – “For reasons too patriotic to explain,” Trump said
- $1,000 MAGA Mega Note – Features Trump shirtless, riding an oil rig into the sunset
The TruthBuck also includes a QR code that links directly to Trump’s Truth Social profile, and occasionally plays audio clips like “You’re fired” and “Only I can fix this.”
Where You Can Spend TruthBucks:
- All Trump-branded golf resorts and casinos
- Select Waffle House locations that have pledged loyalty to Truth Social
- Kid Rock’s Freedom Convenience Stores
- Mike Lindell’s secret pillow bunker
- The concession stand at January 6th anniversary tailgates
Trump says the bills will “definitely work at Wendy’s soon,” although Wendy’s corporate has yet to comment.
Economic Reactions
The Federal Reserve has not responded officially, though sources say Jerome Powell was seen stress-eating shredded stimulus bills in a DC Chipotle.
Elon Musk tweeted that he’s open to integrating TruthBucks into X.com if they’re “cool enough looking,” while Ron DeSantis announced a rival currency called “FreedomCoin,” which instantly dropped to $0.04 after launch.
President Joe Biden, when asked about TruthBucks, responded:
“Look, Jack… I still got war bonds from ‘47. Don’t need no new funny money.”
Final Statement from Trump:
“This is the future. You want healthcare? Pay in TruthBucks. You want to buy gas? TruthBucks. You want to visit Disney? Sorry — they’re banned. But if you’re American and loyal, this is your currency now.”
More updates coming soon as Trump announces TruthBank™, TruthMortgage™, and a limited-edition TruthCoin™ made from compressed Twitter screenshots.